Sometimes defence is the best form of attack. There is a sub-genre of comedy goal – also featuring Scott Nisbet’s legendary offspinner that almost helped Rangers to to the Champions League – that comes from nothing more than a defender doing his job with a crunching tackle or interception that somehow ends with the ball in the net.
When he walloped a clearance over Craig Forrest from 50 yards, Minder villain Jason Cundy broke into a confused growl, as if he didn’t know whether he should celebrate or not. If only he had a better poker face, or he wasn’t renowned for his rustic style of play, he might have been able to claim he meant it. In that parallel universe, it was as life-changing as David Beckham’s goal from the halfway line.
He is now best mates with Tom Cruise; he is marred to her out of En Vogue; his aftershave, Intimately Cundy, is available in all good discount aftershave stores; his film, Crack It Like Cundy, was “pure exuberant fun!” according to Roger Ebert; and you don’t need to ask which branded H&M underpants the Joy of Six is wearing today.
(See also: spare a thought for Peter Litchfield. To be beaten once by a beastly up-and-under from the halfway line may be regarded as misfortune...)
No comments:
Post a Comment